Monday, July 27, 2009


That’s right buddy I remember your license plate number. I also remember your red dodge SRT-8. It sticks out in my mind for a few reasons. At first I thought it was a decent car. I say decent because I’m not a big fan of late model Chrysler engineering for many reasons that I won’t get into. Your's has a big redeeming quality most don't. “It’s got a Hemi!”

However, the reason your car sticks out in my mind is because you cut me off about 4 times in a 2 ½ mile stretch! You were weaving in and out of traffic. Racing from one read light to red light. It was a little ridiculous.

We get it…You’ve got a fast car.

Now I could understand if you were a teenager and you dad let you take out the “muscle” car. I’d give you a break for hot rodding it a bit. But dude….I hate to be the one to tell you this….You’re old. I mean if you can to relive your “glory days” you don’t have to drive like a jerk to everyone else around you. It’s a little uncalled for.

My Dad pulls out his 64 Impala and hot rod’s it all the time…but you won’t see him weaving in and out of traffic cutting people off. That’s just stupid. Maybe it’s because his car is actually worth something, but that’s just my opinion.

Bottom line, if you want to drive like an idiot, find a safe place to do it. The NHRA and SCCA both have events all the time where you can be stupid, test the limits of you car and only endanger yourself. Go and have a ball.

Oh and one last piece of advice. Unless you’re a cop, the 70’s porn star stash and aviator sunglasses went out of style before I was born.

It feels good to be back!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Daily Show Clip of the Week!

Sorry its been a while. We got a little caught up in the whole moving into a new house thing!!! We finally have all our posissions in our new house, but I would hardly say we've "moved in." Thank you to all those who have helped, and those who offered and it just didn't work out because of timeing or what not.

So now for you enjoyment...I present Brian Williams.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Brian Williams
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorJoke of the Day

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Parking Lot Stalker's!

I’ve notice this growing trend in the last years or so and it’s really been bugging me. Hence why it is now in this brand new spiffy post. It just took me a little while to organize my feelings on it. I don’t care what you feelings or reasons are for it, stalking is wrong. Even if it’s in a parking lot.

For those of you that aren’t in the know, main probably because it’s a term I think I just made up, parking lot stalking is when you are in you car and you follow someone out the door of the store. Be it a Wal-Mart, Target, the mall, or you store of choice and follow them all the way through the parking lot to their car. You wait for them to pull out and leave, so you can get their space.

There are some times where I think this might not be so bad. I’ll give two examples. If you see some one getting into their car and they only have one bag. I think that’s fine. Following them all the way from the door though....Stalking. If it’s around the holidays and there isn’t a single parking space in the whole parking lot. Not even way out in BFE.

Now I’ve seen this first had from two different angles, and both make me mad. I’ll start with the one that make me madder.

Maybe I put to much faith in people, but I would think that if you see me coming out of a store with a 2 ½ yr old, a baby, and a cart overflowing with bags it would be a smart choice not to stalk me. You are going to be waiting a while. Anyone with any brains could guess that. Seeing you sitting there with your blinker on, staring impatiently at me isn’t going to help either. Especially when you honk at me and wake my sleeping little princess that we just spent 45 minutes trying to get to stop crying. If anything, that’s going to make me want to move slower. Who know once I do get in the car I may need to adjust my mirrors and seat. Maybe I’ll need to choose a new radio station because the one it’s on isn’t playing a song that neither of us likes. Of course I could also call my Grandparents. I don’t ever talk to them as much as I should and It’s not “safe” to talk on you cell phone and drive. I may just have to do it right there in that parking space that you are so patiently waiting for.

The other angle I see this from all the time really confuses me. It’s when I’m all by myself stopping at the store just to get a few things. As I pull down a row to park I make the mistake of getting behind a parking lot stalker. One that isn't very bright and has chosen a large family, or an elderly couple to stalk. There are four cars behind me waiting as well for this stalker. It’s just inconsiderate. After waiting for a while I slowly ease around the stalker and since they are usually in a large SUV, I can finally see the rest of the lot. Would you know it, TWO spaces past the car they are waiting on there isn’t another car in the lot. That’s 2 parking lot spaces farther away that would have to park!!! 14 feet (I’m guessing here, but it’s really not much).

What The Heck!?!?!?

Are seriously so lazy that you are going to make at least five other cars five more minutes for that you don’t have to walk 14 feet!!! That’s truly amazing.

My solution on the many times this has happened to me, was to simply park, and as I walked past the stalker who was still waiting for their most coveted 14 feet closer to the door parking spot, I smiled and waved.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Things that Irk Me!

I don't consider myself to be an environmentalist. I almost consider it to have negative connotations. Similar to a hippie, or left wing nut job. When I think of an environmentalist I think of these people that haven't showered in at least a week. They smell and look horrible because of it. People like Sheryl Crow. That's right I think Sheryl Crow is a left wing hippie nut bag environmentalist. I don't know why I didn't think of using this example before....this is perfect!!! Do you remember a few months ago when she wanted everyone to only use one square of toilet paper when we go to the bathroom. Don't believe is an article about her saying it here....and here

Maybe now you can see why I don't see myself as an environmentalist. I'm not willing to go to extremes like that. I'm not willing to sacrifice my comfort level. I'm not willing to only use one square of toilet paper because I don't want poop on my fingers. Just to save a little paper?!?! It's not worth it to me. I'm not willing to poop in a bucket and save a little water, because face it...that's just gross. I'm not willing to skip taking a shower for a week because I don't want to be the stinky guy at work. I don't want my wife to sit on the other side of the couch from me or me from her just so we can save a little water. It's not worth it to me. I'm not willing to turn off the A/C in the middle of the day to save a little electricity. Have you been in this Texas heat?!!?! OMG!!!

It's not worth it to me. Just don't be wasteful and you're good.

That being said...I'm not against helping the environment. So let me get to the reason I started this post and what really irks me. It's when people do things out of sheer laziness that affects the environment. The things that really don't require any sacrifice at all. I can think of many examples, but the one I'm going to hit on today is littering.

I hate it when I see someone littering. I don't know why. It irks me to my core.

Maybe its from all my time in the Corps policing up cigarette butts when I didn't smoke.

No...that's not it.

Maybe from picking trash along the highway when I was in Boy Scouts.

Not it either.

I can't explain it, but when I see someone throw a piece of trash out their window driving down the road...Something inside wants to pick it up and follow them home. When they get there just walk up to them and say..."Hey, you dropped this."

Of course just dumping an entire garbage bag of trash into their car as they open the door might get the point across to, but it's not quite as subtle.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Hey Lady!

Now I’m not really talking to all the ladies out there, just really this one that I was “introduced” to last week. Once again since most of my time spent interacting with the public is driving now happened while driving.

I have many bones to pick with this woman. Lets see It you can guess what they all are as I paint you the picture of what happened.

So I’m in the middle lane of a 3 lane highway going the speed limit. I’m going the real speed limit not the whole 10 over or anything like that. I’m not trying to just stay with traffic or any of the stuff I mention in my post that you can read here. The sign said 65 and I was going 65 (you’ll see why in a minute.) She’s in the far right lane (the lane reserved for slower traffic) going much slower. Now I can’t really tell you how much slower she is really going because we really weren’t side by side very long. I flew past her. I mean I flew. I learn more about her coming from behind than I did being beside her or seeing her in my mirror. I can tell you she was in a little red Honda, she had long brown hair, a floral shirt, and she was a she. If she wasn’t a she….dude’s got issues.

Now this is just my opinion, I am wrong a lot, (just as Little Mama), you can let me know in the comments if think I’m wrong as well, but if you are in the far right lane and car flies past you on your left….I’d think I’m in the lane I need to be in. Am I right?!?! That or I needed to reevaluate my speed.

No this lady decided she wanted to be in the same lane as I was in. I who just flew past her. Why I don’t know. Her lane wasn’t ending, she didn’t need to merge. It wasn’t an exit only lane. There wasn’t an on ramp with traffic coming on. No there were only three cars on the entire road this nice Sunday morning.

She did so quite abruptly I might add. Seeing her swerve in to my lane in my rearview just after I passed her kind of caught me by surprise. I wasn’t the only one though. The Cop that was about 4 car lengths behind me that she almost ran off the road I think was a little more surprised than I was. It’s a good thing he had the left lane to act as a buffer or he would have been in the ditch!

What The Heck Lady!?!?!

Let me go through my list. First you were driving slow. Too slow in fact. Slow enough that if traffic were heavier that you would be an obstacle that people would have to avoid even if you were in the right lane. Second you switched lanes when you really had no reason to! You were going to slow to be in any lane other than the right lane!!! Third did you not check you mirrors or you blind-spot before you jerked the wheel over? It almost looked like you were trying to hit that cop!

Now I really don’t know what you were thinking about lady…but it wasn’t about driving.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Clip of the Week

Usually I put up my favorite clip from The Daily Show from the previous week here. This week however I'm going to go a little bit outside the box and put a clip from the Colbert "Report." I thought it was great.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
CNN Finds Bubbles the Chimp
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorJeff Goldblum

To see how Anderson Cooper reacted to this story click here.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Megan Fox!!!!

Ritch at the Dumb As a Blog wrote a great rant about Megan Fox. You can read it by clicking here. If you have seen any of the publicity regarding the new Transformer's'll find this entertaining.