Monday, March 30, 2009

Oh the Drama!

I don't like drama.

Its one thing when there is drama in someone else's life that doesn't evolve me. When I can just sit on the side line and watch. That's great entertainment. A good dramatic movie I'm ok with as well, but I don't want unnecessary drama in my life. I think its kind of ridiculous.

I grew up in a house with 3 girls. My stepmother, stepsister, and my sister. There was a lot of arguing. A lot of door slamming. A lot of screaming. I learned at a young age that 3 girls under one roof was way too many.

Later in life I analyzed this situation even more. My little sister was never really involved in most of these problems that enveloped the household...therefore 2 girls in one house is to many right. I decided that when I wanted to start my own family if I was to avoid having unnecessary drama in my life, my wife would be the only girl in my home if I could help it.

After my second tour in Iraq I met her, and boy did I fall hard. The Little Mama is such a great girl. Now I'll admit she has her moments where she'll bring a little drama to the table, but they really aren't that bad. Plus usually when she does there is a really good reason for it. That hasn't been the case in past

Then we got a dog. HIS name is Brady. I was doing pretty good.

She wanted a cat, and her name is Zoe. I've come to the conclusion however that cats don't count because they are daemons, so I'm still doing pretty good.

Then we got knocked up. It was one of those "We both really want kids, lets see if this works" kind of things and it did. First try. Those first few months I was very worried until we found out our little bun in the oven was indeed a boy. Believe me when I say I was ecstatic. The estrogen balance was still in my favor.

Fast forward til recently and we decided the timing was right to complete our little family. Another baby. This time I wasn't so lucky. Even with the ultrasounds and everything part of me still hoped that when little Emma came in this world she wouldn't be a she at all. I knew in my heart though I'd love her no matter what. When I first saw her she was so beautiful. Her cute little cheeks. Lips. Monkey toes just like her daddy. The doc cleaned her off and gave her to us to get a better look at her. She put her had on her cute little cheek, and let out the biggest sigh.....and the drama starts...

God help me.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


This was an obituary in the London Times.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with has for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Thank you Mr. Putnam. I think it fits nicely here.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Red Light, Green Light

Do you remember playing Red Light Green Light when you were young? After the person that was it said "green light go" you could go as fast as you could across the gym, skating rink, or what ever arena but as soon as they said "red light stop" you had to stop moving. If you were caught still moving you had to go back to the beginning. Pretty easy huh. I'd like to think I was pretty good at it because I was pretty good at following directions. I knew that when they said "red light stop" I should stop. I didn't try to cheat, and sneak up to get closer to the base or anything like that. I thought I was quite clever for that because many of my fellow classmates/players did try and got caught leaving me many times way out front with a lead.

Well of course this game is based on real life, and in real life a red light (in my personal opinion) is one of those things that should truly be obeyed on the road. I mean if you don't it can result in death, destruction and dismemberment. Not a pretty sight.

Imagine my dismay when on my way to work last week a woman ran a red light and almost hit me. Now when I say she ran a red light. I mean a RED LIGHT. It hadn't just turned red from yellow, it had been red for a long time. It hadn't even been green the entire time I had been waiting at the intersection. Which I might add was longer than her. I was there for the intire cycle of the intersction. Her light was next to turn green after mine. She didn't even pause or slow down to see if someone was coming. Just barreled straight on through.

What The Heck Lady!?!

Its a good thing I was paying attention to you and just didn't go since I had the green light. I of course gave her what I am now going to call the What The Heck Honk ((WTHH for short) so it trademarked now. You heard it here first people!!!.) and on my way.

Its not like the game when I was young when they would try and fake you out by saying "green light grow." Could you imagine that? You're waiting at an intersection and you red light turns to yellow and back to red just to see if you paying attention. How do think people would react to that? How ever it is I don't want to be in the middle of that intersection in my invisible Rubbermaid container if/when it does.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Today (if all goes as planned) my beautiful wife and I are having our second child. Emma Mae. Emma from her mother and Mae from my grandmother. I suppose since Jake is know as "The Little Mister," she'll be known as "The Little Miss." Well until I can think of something better or more creative.

So to mark this wonderful occasion, I thought that I'd revisit the What The Heck moments when The Little Mister was born. I was for the most part kind of an interesting experience. Of course some of this I've really been keeping to myself because I don't the The Little Mama reads this much, if she did she would point out all my typo's as well as the many times I leave out a word or two (my fingers don't always work as fast as my brain.) Plus I'm not going to publish this post until we are already in the hospital so save her some unnecessary worrying.

I'm going to leave out all the stuff that I think a normal father goes through. The oh my this is my son. He's so small. I'm responsible for this life. Am I going to be a good dad? I think that all is pretty normal and everyone can relate to it. I'm going concentrate on what I think was just plain wrong. The operating room.

Now I don't know if the mistake we made was having a baby in Wyoming, or the doctors there or what...but it was an interesting experience to say the least.

The Little Mama had been in labor for over a day, when they finally said Jake was stuck and they were going to do a c-section. They wheeled her into the operating room and the had this green blanket hanging like a shower curtain over her chest. Needless to say we couldn't see much, which I'm very thankful for. I love my wife, but her innards are one part of her I really don't want to see.

We had been told that the Doc doing the surgery had a lot of experience, but I'm guessing she had some students in there with here that didn't. That's where it all started. They bumped that table. Kim got worried. I went into reassurance mode.

"Its okay honey." I said.

"Oops." came from the other side of the blanket.

"What do they mean oops?" my beautiful wife said with a hint of panic in her voice.

"Its okay honey, they just bumped the table."

"You don't say oops when the patient is awake."

"Oh sorry. What's that?"

"I don't know?"

"What's she talking about?"

"I'm sure its nothing honey."

This kind of thing continued for about 5 more minutes until we heard a little cry. It was so cute. Then a little head popped over the blanket like a little puppet show and was gone.

Monday, March 9, 2009


Before you get all up set, No I'm not writing a review. I'm not giving out any spoilers. I didn't start this blog to be a film critic. If you do want my opinion on the film, email me and I'll give it to you.

This post is about the movie though, but not in the essence you are thinking. I saw the film this weekend with friends.

There was cussing.

There was sex.

There was violence.

It earned its "R" rating.

Now I think maybe I should be a little more specific on that last one. When I say violence...I'm talking limbs cut off, blood squirting, broken bones, slow motion gunshots/stabbings, etc. It was pretty graphic. Zach Snyder's previous film was 300 if you seen it you can kind of get and idea of what I'm talking about.

I'm not knocking him as a director, or the movie 300. I think he's a great director and I own 300. I think its a great movie, and I'll probably buy Watchmen when it comes out on DVD too.

I suppose I should also mention the blue man parts flying freely in the wind too. Once again, I'm not knocking it. I'm not judging the movie. I'm just saying, its there....And he's swinging some pipe!

My point is simply I'm a 27 year old man. I've served 5 years in the Marine Corps. I'm a combat veteran. I've given first aid to many different wounds. I've had many life experiences that have made me the mature (well more mature than I use to be) person I am today. My friends that I went to see it with are also my age. I know deep down inside that it's not real. Its a movie.

Imagine my surprise when I saw a few parents carrying out young kids from our theater. My friends and I found it kind of shocking.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Watch Your Kids Part II

Yes I know I'm blogging about kids again. What can I say though. I'm a parent. I see these things. Considering now that most of the time that I spend interacting with the public is driving or in "kid friendly" areas, most of my blogs are going to be about something along those lines. For this one we will head back to the playground once again.

In my last post on this subject I think I established why I believe people should watch their kids for their own protection(you can read it here.) I think there are many more reasons than that though to watch you kids. Namely to protect other people's kids.

Now I can truly empathize with stay at home parents that don't get out of the house much. Meeting a friend with their kid (or kids) at McDonald's, a park or a playground can be nice. It gives the child a chance to play with other kids and the parent a chance to socialize with someone other than their own kids/spouse. However, when you take your children to a public place, you are responsible for your child's actions. You still need to pay attention to them especially if there are children smaller than them around.

Some of you probably think that the Little Mister shouldn't be on a playground with the bigger kids. Well to those people I ask if they have ever noticed the age limits on some of the playscapes. On one in an area close by the age limits are clearly labeled in 3 places at "ages 2-5." Even with proper signage though there are almost always kids that are around 10 years or older playing on it.

Now if these kids were being nice and polite I really wouldn't care. Some really are. Last weekend I was truly amazed at how nice this one little boy was letting Jake take turns going up a ladder. He must have been 7 or 8 and to top it off he called me sir!

No, what I have the problem with is the kids that have pushed smaller kids off raised platforms sending them plumeting 5-10 feet to the ground. Blocked ladders so that the smaller kids have nowhere to go and are stuck in a compromising position. Blocking tunnels so they can't get through. Purposely stepping on fingers and hands while they are climbing a ladder onto a higher platform or step. Shoving them out of the way to get onto something without waiting.

I've got plenty more that I've seen. Heck I've even been kicked repeatedly by a 6 yr old because I was helping my son while he was learning a new obstacle and I was standing where she wanted to run. She couldn't run around me though, even though there was plenty of space.

Only about 1/3 of the time did I see a parent correct their child.

Seriously people!!!

What The Heck!?!

Maybe it's just me, but I don't feel it's my place to correct someone else's kid. I don't know someone else's parenting style or technique (if they even have one.) Plus I don't want to be sued for some kid crying because I told them "NO" and it was the first time they had ever heard it.

I don't think it's fair to my child that he has to be punished and we have to leave because other kids are being bullies. Isn't that the same as telling a battered wife that it's her fault her husband beats her. (Yes, I'm going to extremes to prove a point, get over it)